A few days later

Its been a few days since my last entry and since i am sitting here basically lifeless i thought i would leave a record of the past few days.I finally said i was done to myself,which is a form of surrender,or defeat for me,and i didn't show up for work on thursday or fri.I went to the doctor on thursday afternoon and she was fairly quick to diagnose me with bronciatis,(im sure i didn't spell that right).She treated me for that and pneumonia thinking i had that but didn't want to incure all the hastle and logistics of an x-ray.I understand.I bet she didn't want me in the office let alone running all over it exposing everyone else to all the shit in my throat and lungs.She said the problem probably started as viral and then turned bacterial,whatever the hell that all means.I had a low grade fever and my oxygen level,pulse and B/P were all normal.She didn't give any advice on rest or when to return to work.Poor thing knows me and how i do what i want anyway.She did say if i am still sick in a week to come back and see her for a x-ray.Ok,thats over and i am back home basically going nuts cause my life is ticking and i am not.I have stayed here upstairs,real warm for the last few days and i think i am starting to feel a little better.I still have that nasty caugh but not as bad.Still,when i start caughing i think my head is gonna bust,or at the least all the blood vessels in it.
I don't like to leave my blog on a bad note if i can help it so here is paragraph two.My friend from Oregon called this morning and told me he is in town and to give him a call.We stay in touch by email and telephone but don't see each other as much since he moved.He doesn't know i am sick and probably wants me to come party with him and other friends this weekend.I won't make the party but i will call him and connect that way.I got a very.i mean very uplifting email from my daughter-in-law,julie yesterday.I have known her since she was 13 or so and i just grow to love her more with each day.Mike called the other day to check up on me and gave me a warm hug over the telephone.When you have family and friends like i do you pretty much have it all.I am a blessed man.Ok,i can rest for now.

wintertime,jan.2010

This is going to be a rant.I need to get things off of my chest and this seems like a good place to do it.Hell,nobody reads this anyway.Its 10:21 in the evening and i was in bed at 9:15.I can't sleep for the4th night in a row.I was hit with some kind of illness on jan.1st.It hit in my throat and i felt it at the second it appeared.I immediately prayed for healing.Well,its now the 11th and i seem to be getting worse.I still have my strength,never lost it but i have a nagging caugh that is making me crazy.I'm not much for doctors until its too late so i havn't seen one.I started drinking snake oil on sunday.It seems to help with the caughing except when its time for bed.I can't lie down to sleep so i try a chair.With each day i get less and less rest.Damn i'm in need of some shuteye.What the hell is it.I seem to have things fairly calmed down until i want to sleep and then all hell breaks loose.I wind up getting maybe 3 or 4 hours of very disturbed and restless sleep and then i am up and going to work.Its starting to show in my performance there.All the people i work with understand and don't bother me.That is a bright spot in an otherwise crappy last few days.Our company just changed insurance and if i go to the doctor now i bet with my new deductable,copays,medicine and lost time at work i would be looking at 1000 dollars lost,and it is just a gamble the doctor will access my condition accurately and perscribe the right medicine the first time.Its just not worth the gamble to me so here the hell i am,typing this damn blog,whinning about me.Is that pathetic or what!

Ok,i think that is off my chest so i am going to talk a little about the good in my life.Last fall i was able to pay off my property.What a blessing.Thx.Art for all your help.We have known each other since i was about 14.I have two great sons who are both successful in there lives.I have two daughter-in-laws who i am getting closer to every day.I have 3 granddaughters who i just adore.Through all of this shitty economy,i have a job and when it seems like a lot of people around me are getting laid off,hours or pay cut,i actually maintained my schedule and was given a raise.Now that is a praise report.
Today i was closing the warehouse and right in front of me in the sky was hands down the most beautiful rainbow i have ever seen.It was huge with six, that i could see, bands of color.I stood there with my boss,who is also christian and we both were in awe of the beauty in it.It lasted for about 10 minutes and was gone.What a beautiful way to end a mundane work day.I bet we will talk about it tomorrow.
Ok,enough for now.Its 10:48 and i'm gonna try again to go to sleep.Hell,i am exhausted.